


Reunited

by melosdechordas



Series: Catch and Release [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Bittersweet, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Secret Relationship, Set before Episode III, The Jedi Order, and cal kestis if you squint, but thats okay right yall?, for an anakin fic this has a lot of obi-wan, for the og's, he's petulant but you love him, in-his-feelings anakin skywalker, it used to be 'see you again one day', made up planets and creatures, mild depictions of injury, pretend i know how to world build, the clones and r2d2 get a cameo, yea i'll make a prequel eventually, yes i changed the name of this fic, you befriend obi-wan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23949745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melosdechordas/pseuds/melosdechordas
Summary: You have a history with Anakin Skywalker, the General of the 501st battalion, and the Jedi's Chosen One. To you, he's just Ani, the one you fell in love with after spending one season together. But that was years ago.An opportunity to see him again arises when you receive a transmission from the Jedi Order. You answer the call...
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Reader, Anakin Skywalker/Reader
Series: Catch and Release [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764310
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	1. #1

**Author's Note:**

> the following is a sequel to "runaway padawan" in the "catch & release" series. while it is not vital to read "runaway padawan" to understand the events of this book, these works are a cohesive unit and tell a story best when read together.
> 
> · · · · ·
> 
> You're more than ready to see Anakin again. Two years is too long.

“This feels like a weird dream,” you comment as you sit on a cushioned bench near the back of the main controls of the ship you were on. “I can’t believe I’m going to meet him again soon…”

Of course you were only speaking to yourself. Your leg bounced with anxiety and for the tenth time in the last half hour you patted your side to make sure your blaster was still with you. 

You were about to embark on a diplomatic mission with a Mr. Obi-Wan Kenobi. You barely knew the man. It was the Jedi Council who had contacted you personally a few days ago for this special job. You immediately had known who was behind this. There was no other Jedi who even knew your name other than the one you had met so many years ago. But they made it clear that your assistance was needed, so you felt inclined to come. Afterall, it’s not as if you had any other plans at the moment. 

When you had boarded the ship, a gentleman in robes had greeted you and debriefed you on the situation. Just by the way he held himself you could tell he was a Jedi, most likely a Master. He called himself Mace Windu, and while he was not impolite, he surely wanted little to do with you besides tell you your job for the next week. He did so, then left you to think it over for yourself.

You were to accompany Jedi Master Kenobi on a trip to the planet Kravorp. Master Windu had told you the true reason for the visit was confidential and kept between Jedi only. (It was tough to not roll your eyes.) He made up for it by emphasizing that your role was extremely important. He explained that the Jedi Council had originally planned to send Obi-Wan with Anakin Skywalker, but with further consideration of the planet Kravorp and their obvious distaste for any Jedi, they had given Obi-Wan the task of a) acting like any other citizen and b) finding someone else to accompany him. Skywalker was quick to suggest you, (Y/N).

Anakin was a long time friend of yours. Or, at least, the friendship you two had… In your mind it seemed as if it was such a long time ago.

You two had met two summers ago when Anakin was on a rebellious streak against the Council. He was 18 then, a year older than you, and, as he described it, “tired of the rules and regulations that sat on his shoulders to uphold every day by the uptight people in charge”. You spent a whole season together on the planet he had landed on where you lived, enjoying each other’s company and living day by day. You had fun together, but it was you who ultimately convinced him to return to the Jedi, granted that they’d open their arms to him if he did. He had said he would only comply if you promised that you’d see one another again someday. You told him you’d look forward to it. And, in a couple of moments, as indicated by the turbulence of the ship beginning to land, it was going to really happen. 

Anakin knew from the instant Obi Wan said what kind of person they needed that you would fit the role. Now you weren’t a Jedi, just magic with any gun from a simple DL-44 pistol to a DC-15LE blaster. And, you had more than enough smarts to survive on whatever crazy planet you could end up on. Because of this, you were the Council’s ultimate choice. 

So here you were, about to depart your ship and meet with the Jedi on Coruscant. 

Mace Windu returned from a different sector of the ship, holding out an arm to escort you. You smiled politely at him, but stood up by yourself and walked to the exit. You didn’t turn around to see if he was miffed at this, but you didn’t much care.

The door of the ship slowly meets the floor, and you walk down the decline. Two figures stand, conversing with one another. They were a few yards away, but you could tell it was the Jedi you were scheduled to meet. 

Well, you could tell it was Anakin, at least. But just barely. As you get closer to them you can notice changes in him. He’s gotten rid of that rat-tail braid you always made fun of, and has considerably grown it out. It’s curly and messy in a way that somehow trademarks him, as if that’s the way he’s truly meant to look. It reaches just above his shoulders. He also has a scar over his face near his eye. Worry pangs you, but it looks mostly healed, so you try not to let it show. He wears the same robes as he did when you had first met, dark and tapered to fit him. You could admit out loud that he looked physically stronger and taller. But you could admit only in your mind that this awakened your harbored attraction towards him almost immediately.

Walking towards them seemed to go in slow motion, but you figured that you were staring at Anakin for too long, so you averted your gaze to the other man. 

You had only met Jedi Master Obi-Wan once, when you took your ship to return Anakin to his rightful place. He has a soft but serious face that gives off so much authority, you feel as if you should bow or do something else just as silly. 

When you reach them, you’re not sure what to say or do. Is it against the Jedi Code to hug? Even if it wasn’t, would it be weird to? You scold yourself internally: you should have thought of all this before the actual moment came. 

You weren’t to worry though, as they both gave you gracious smiles. 

“It’s great to see you again, (Y/N),” Anakin beamed.

“Likewise,” you replied, but reminded yourself not to indulge so much in his happy tone. “Yeah, likewise to both of you.”

“I trust you had a good flight?” Obi-Wan asked, and you nodded yes.

“Why don’t we get inside?” Anakin offers. “It’ll get dark out soon.”

Following his lead, you went inside the Jedi Temple.


	2. #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get your first moment alone with Anakin since two years ago.

With confidence you could say that The Jedi Temple hadn’t changed at all. It consisted of endless hallways and infinite floors. Intricate designs ran up every column you passed. To you, all of the people seemed to talk in hushed voices to each other, as if protecting a secret. It was overwhelming, and doubt about coming here was seeded in your mind due to all of it. You wondered if it seemed that way to anyone else. 

You thought all these things while being escorted by Anakin and Obi-Wan. Still, you made sure you kept up; you didn’t want to get lost. 

Eventually you reached the entrance to your temporary quarters. Honestly it was quite more lavish than what you had expected. Obi-Wan opened the door for you and found your reaction a bit amusing. 

It was a big room, with a plush semicircle couch in the center. Holochess was set up and ready to play on the table in front of it. A velvet-clad bed was to the right side, while a large window was to the left with semi-transparent curtains made of silk. You’d never seen luxury like this before. On Kijimi, your home planet? No way.

“This is a lot for a guest room, don’t you think?” you mutter to Anakin. He laughs.

“We just felt you should be comfortable during your short stay,” Obi-Wan provides. You note to yourself about his acute hearing. “You’re doing a great service to the Council by coming on this mission, (Y/N).”

You smile awkwardly, not knowing how to properly accept his compliment.

“Happy to help,” you eventually say, rocking on your heels and toes.

“Up for a game of dejarik?” Anakin grins at you, and you thank him mentally for the aversion. 

“You don’t have some secret Jedi meeting scheduled that I’m not supposed to know about?” You joke, rolling your eyes. He rolls his as well.

“No, actually.”

“I’ll let you two reconnect,” Obi-Wan says with a small smile on his face. He leaves quietly, shutting the door behind him. You wait a moment, as if he'd come back. 

Now alone, you feel no consequences. You really missed him. You hug Anakin with all your might. He returns it and you rest your head on his shoulder. Yet he is tense. You pull away when you realize it, worried you’ve crossed some unspoken line. You wonder if he still remembers those kisses you two shared as vividly as you did. It was years ago, but did it linger in his mind for that long like it did in yours? Had you made this into something more when you shouldn’t have?

...But he holds onto you. You’re not sure what’s happening. Suddenly you realize he might not be thinking of romance at all.

“What is it, Anakin?” you ask in concern.

“Nothing.” You can tell he’s uncertain of what to tell you. Honestly, this makes you upset, considering all the things he told you before. But you decide that his emotions should come first. “So much has happened.” He looks down at his hands, and that’s when you notice his right hand is made of metal instead of flesh, like it used to be. His fingers are thin as if they are meant to just be bones. You’re not sure where the black and gold prosthetic ends - his robes conceal everything above his fingers - but it alarms you.

“What have the Jedi been forcing you to do?”

“It’s not the Jedi - well, yes it is, but it’s more than that!” Anakin shouts. 

You put a hand on his back and guide him to the semicircle to sit. Balled fists rest on his knees. His frustration is imminent in his face, and this proved to you once again that his emotions were too much for him. Consoling him, you decide, is all you can do.

“You don’t have to say everything all at once. Or anything at all, ever.”

He looks up at you.

“It’s my first night back, and tomorrow’s my mission. So tonight, let’s just play a few rounds.” You grin. “C’mon, don’t rob me of playing hologram dejarik. You know I’ve only ever played the shitty broken pieces back on Kijimi.”

You can see through his eyes that he’s trying to let go of his dense emotions, and while he can’t forcibly get rid of them all, he attempts to smile back at you.

You move to sit at the other side, and begin your first game of many that night.


	3. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You reveal some of your distaste for the Jedi to Obi-Wan. He seems to be a good one, though.

The next morning, as your first conscious thought, you wondered with irritation as to why the sun’s rays felt so hot through your window. Why was your bed so comfortable? And why was Anakin Skywalker standing at the door to your room?

You shot upright when you noticed him, then took in the rest of your surroundings and realized where you were. Coruscant. Jedi. Secret mission. Right.

“Hey, I was just about to wake you,” he says, shaking you from your thoughts.

You nod, trying to casually smooth down your tangled bedhead. 

“Well I’m awake.”

Anakin smiles at that. “I’m also here to escort you to breakfast. I’ll be outside waiting.”

He turns and leaves as you get out of bed. You yawn as you start to quickly get ready. During this time you wonder what you would be getting yourself into with this mission. Your curiosity was itching at you.

You opened the door after slipping on your boots. Anakin was to your right, leaning slightly against the wall. He straightened when he saw you, giving you a smile then telling him to follow you. 

It was a short walk - you could see the massive dining area from the hallway outside your room - and this made you think that you could’ve walked here yourself, but Anakin chose to accompany you instead. You smile when you realize it, and look up at him. He was talking about something you didn’t hear, but stopped when you made eye contact with him. He looks back, confused with your expression.

“What?” he asked curiously.

Your smile widens, showing your teeth. “Nothing,” you shake your head.

He sits you down at the side of a long table, then tells you he’ll be right back. You watch him leave and come back, but you’re taken by disappointed surprise when he only brings one plate. He sets it in front of you, but you just continue to stare up at him from your seated position.

“You’re not eating, too?”

“Oh, no. I ate hours ago, along with the other Jedi.” He laughed. Clearly he was poking fun. You gave him a face. Was it your fault you lived underground and had a job back home with flexible hours? “But I’ll see you off later, okay?”

You huff at that, but he doesn’t hear. Anakin leaves you, and you watch his figure get smaller until completely disappearing after turning into another hallway. 

_‘Oh, well,’_ you think to yourself. _‘Can’t have everything I want, can I? At least I have food.’_

But as you look down, you’re not entirely convinced. It’s a plate of mush. Suddenly you’re acutely aware of exactly what Anakin was saying during your short walk when you were lost in your thoughts.

He was snickering, sarcasm evident as he said something like, “You’ll enjoy the food.” 

Annoyed, you lift the spoon of food into your mouth. And let’s just say… the quality of the food for breakfast was in stark contrast from the luxurious guest quarters. You figured it was some sort of oat mixture. The grey color was less than appealing and the taste was bland, but the lumpy texture was the trait you found most bothersome. 

Still, you swallowed every bit. You understood well that energy was necessary for the mission. (But knowing this didn’t make it go down any smoother.) 

After taking your time with your late breakfast, you meanader back into your guest room. You stand by the window, taking in the view. You were sure that no Kijimi mountain was as high as you were in this room. Hundreds of airspeeders flew by. You kept your eyes trained on one until it would disappear behind a building or other speeders would get in the way. Then you’d find another one to follow. You didn’t keep track of how long this lasted, but you certainly jolted up as you heard the door open behind you. 

Anakin was there when you turned around, giving you a nod. It was time to go. 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When you saw Obi-Wan that morning, he was practically a stranger. He had cut his hair so that instead of it being shoulder-length, it was kept out of his face except for some in the front. He was also in civilian clothes. It was hard to recognize him. A Jedi without robes is like a Wookie without hair. But you will admit he looks younger that way. Not so much of a grandpa, like Ani always used to tell you. 

“Is that really Obi-Wan?” you whisper as you get closer.

“Not anymore,” Anakin announces when you step in front of him. “(Y/N), meet _Ben_ Kenobi.”

“Ben,” you try out. “Seems easy enough to remember.”

“Do you have everything?” Anakin asks you, and you pat your side where your blaster is.

“This is all I’ve got, and all I need.” 

“We will return soon, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says. 

“Yes, be careful, Master.” He turns to you, and his gaze is so intense you have to look away. “You too, (Y/N). Don’t be too hasty with that thing.” He refers to your weapon.

You quickly take it out of its holster and spin it by the trigger guard. You knew he didn’t like that, but it made you grin. “Don’t patronize me. I know what I’m doing.”

Obi-Wan narrows his eyes in distaste, but you can’t tell if his glare is for you or the blaster. Still, he’s composed as he says to you, “Shall we?” 

He doesn’t wait for your response, but boards the ship. You follow suit, giving one last glance at Anakin as a goodbye after you’ve secured your weapon back to your side. 

You had decided to sit with Obi-Wan - _'Ben'_ \- for the trip. You knew he was Anakin’s mentor, or “master,” as they all say. They seemed to disagree all the time, but you knew he looked up to Kenobi. You figured it was because of how powerful a Jedi he was, but as you started to have a conversation with the man when the ship took off, you began to realize he was more than just another strict Jedi Master.

“I hope the decision of withholding information from me doesn’t jeopardize the mission,” you say, trying to persuade him into telling you more about what exactly you were walking into. 

“There are some things I can tell you now that we’re on the ship,” he states, looking at you to gauge your reaction. “But I will tell you it was Anakin’s idea. He figured if you knew everything, you would rather not take the job.”

You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. That wasn’t true at all. It was hard to admit this to even yourself, but… you’d travel across the galaxy if it meant a chance to see Anakin again. But you weren’t about to tell Obi-Wan that! What in the world would he think? Hell, what would Anakin think himself? You try to expel the thought. It’s not like anything would change. They have their own set of rules. You knew it, and so did Anakin.

“You Jedi think you know it all,” you bite at him with malice. “You all with your secrecy, holier than thou attitude… Having to listen to The Council for everything. It’s no wonder why Anakin left.”

Obi-Wan blanches at that, but quickly composes himself. Then, he laughs. 

“You two must have been fast friends. You sound so similar.”

A laugh escapes you. His guess wasn’t very accurate.

“Might I remind you,” he continues, “that it was you who brought him back to the Jedi Order.”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. Sometimes, in your selfish moments alone, you regret letting him go. But...

“He had responsibilities that if left abandoned, the guilt would eat him alive.”

The Jedi Master agreed with that. He wondered how much you knew about Anakin. He further wondered if you knew something he didn’t about him.

You take him back outside of his thoughts when you add, “Plus, the Jedi Council is a powerful ally. Who knows when I’ll stumble on something that I need help with?” You grin at him. “It’s all about doing favors to get favors. And by my updated count, you guys owe me two.”

He narrows his eyes but smiles. “Indeed.”

You decided that Obi-Wan wasn’t too bad. Anakin was the bridge between the two of you, but now without him it was comfortable enough. Maybe this trip would be more bearable than you initially thought.


	4. #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You improvise.

The ship felt as if it was dragging along the stars, so you distract yourself with your blaster. You take out your miniature screwdriver and begin loosening the screws that connect the handle to the rest of the gun. You unscrew a few more parts, setting them out on the table in front of you. You take the cloth from the chest pocket of your overalls and begin wiping down every intricate piece. 

This was your most recent blaster pistol, but you wouldn’t admit to any of the Jedi that you hadn’t used it in combat yet. You’re sure that wouldn’t put them at ease. Besides, you’ve had test shots with it, and you trusted yourself. 

As you grip the muzzle, Obi-Wan clears his throat loudly. You move your head up so you can see him in your peripheral, but your eyes are still trained on your weapon. 

“We’re landing soon, and I still have a bit more to tell you.”

You assume this is his way of telling you to put away your blaster. You look at him now, but begin to reassemble each part back together. 

“I’m listening,” you say, a bit too tongue-in-cheek.

You're not sure if he's impressed or irritated about the fact that you were putting it together while looking at him. You decide his opinion on that doesn’t really matter to you.

“The people of Kravorp believe that I have intel on the Jedi. I have had communications with them for quite some time, feeding them lies that they believe to be the truth. Last time we spoke, King Gerrun asked me to bring a potential business partner. So, he will offer you a job to work with me as a spy for the Jedi Order.”

“Wait,” you hold a hand out to make him stop. You crack a smile. “My job is to tell them how I don’t like the Jedi and tell lies about them?”

“...Yes.”

You clap your hands together and laugh. “Anakin thought I wouldn’t do this?” 

He ignores your delight, despite the fact that he finds it slightly amusing. 

“They think that I am spying on my brother, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Council brought you here, obviously to pose as the business partner, but also as protection for me. I have my lightsaber, but it is a last resort, as it will give away my identity.”

“I think just having it is identity-revealing in itself, no?” you say pointedly, looking at his hip where the saber is resting.

Wordlessly he grabs it from his side, then lifts his loose sleeve so his arm is revealed. A contraption is hooked to the thick of his forearm. He attaches the lightsaber hilt to it so it is flush against his skin. Then he lets his sleeve fall, his weapon hidden.

You concede. “Fair.

“Okay, let’s say it goes off without a hitch.” You begin to tighten the parts to your blaster back together with your screwdriver. “What’s the endgame here?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “If they give me a ‘job’-” you air quote with your fingers- “won’t I have to do this for awhile?”

“Once we return to Coruscant, you’ll have no further part in the mission. The rest is Jedi business that I’m sure you’ll want no part of.”

You nod. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Finally, you put the ammunition into the weapon, then tuck it away, just as you feel the ship land steadily. 

The area surrounding you was thick with dark trees and greenery. It was a jungle planet. The humidity was ever-present; you could already feel your hair sticking to your face as a creature greeted you and Obi-Wan off of the ship. He didn’t speak in basic, but you figured that since he was just a representative for whoever you were actually meeting for the hire, he didn’t have anything critical to say. He talked mostly to Ben, anyways. 

You walk in strides next to the two of them, eyeing the Kravorpian. He had skin as red as a brick, and scales ran over the length of his body. Where his elbows diverged came an extra set of forearms, hands, and fingers. You weren’t sure if it was him or the entire planet that smelled dank.

He seemed to feel your analyzing stare and gave you one back with yellow irises. You narrow your eyes at the creature, but Ben gives you a look of his own behind him, so you look away. 

Having created unnecessary tension in the air with just a series of looks, the three of you begin to walk up a tall hill of dirt. You find that the vines and moss will trip you if you’re not careful, so you watch your feet as you step up. 

Once atop the hill, you realize you’ve been led to a group of caves. Trees separate each one and you come to understand that they’re housing units. The representative points at an entrance which leads to a new cave system filled with bright lights. He speaks to you, and you look at Obi-Wan for translation, but he looks confused as well. 

“You’d like for her to meet the King alone?” he questions, stroking his chin with a hand.

The Kravorpian nods, repeating what he stated earlier. He walks away, motioning for Ben to follow. He does, but not before discreetly tapping his left arm, reminding you of the communicator he gave you.

With no other choice, you turn around and walk into the next set of caves. There’s a set of guards blocking the mouth of a certain cave, so you take a bet that’s where you’re supposed to be going. You approach them.

They speak in the same tongue as the one who escorted you.

“My name is (Y/N). I’m here with Ben Kenobi, to talk to the King of Kravorp. My presence was requested by him personally.”

They look at each other, then stand down. You enter. 

The cave walls are decorated with woven tapestries. More assorted decorations line the hallway. You keep heading forward, and as you do the lights seem to get dimmer. A guard appears, then escorts you to the correct room. Once you both enter he falls in line with the other guards at the back of the giant area. You give him a nod, then turn to face the King.

For the shortest moment, you can see the king communicating with a mysterious hooded figure over a hologram. You first thought it was strange, but then decided it wasn’t your business. The king ends communication quickly when he notices you, giving you a grand smile. 

“(Y/N), I assume?” he says, and you’re relieved he speaks basic.

“Yes. Pleasure to meet you, King Gerrun.” You’re not sure if you should bow. “Mr. Ben Kenobi said you were to offer me a job,” you ventured. 

“Ah, yes.” He nods, motioning you to come closer. You do, getting a better look at him despite the dim lighting. He has a darker red skin tone than your escort from earlier. He is much bigger, and more plump, too. A few steps of stairs lead up to a throne. He sits upon this throne of stone, with jewels shimmering through the cracks of the carved rock. He touches all 20 of his fingertips together and leans forward. 

“(Y/N), I would like to hire you,” he continues, “but there are some questions I have.” He narrows his yellow eyes. You decide this is the trait of these Kravorpians that makes your skin crawl the most. 

With his body language, you knew he had suspicions. You had to be careful with your words.

“How did you come to meet Ben Kenobi?” he first asks.

You swallow. “Years ago, I freed him from a prison in Coruscant when I infiltrated a Jedi base. The Council of the Jedi had captured him and put him there. I helped him escape.” The lie came a little too effortlessly, and frankly, you were both impressed and confused with yourself.

“Why was he there, in that prison?”

Your shoulders shrug. “I’m not sure. Possibly the same as me: to get information in secret. He just happened to get himself caught. I figured I could consider anyone who was trying to take down the Jedi Order as an ally, so I helped him out. We haven’t kept steady contact until recently, when you asked him to bring someone to recruit.”

Gurren stands once you finish speaking, and you’re suddenly aware of his towering height and big, scaly body.

“Tell me… Have you considered the thought that Kenobi is a Jedi himself?”

You draw back in surprise. Have they figured you both out so easily? No… You wouldn’t give up your cover just yet.

“Why do you say that, King?” You crinkle your eyebrows in mock confusion. 

“Let’s ask him ourselves, shall we?”

He looks towards the entrance of the cave, and there stands Obi-Wan with his hands behind his back. You can’t tell, but you assume they are tied. Two guards follow behind him closely, a hand on each of his shoulders.

“O-” you almost say his name, but then remember. “Oh, Ben? What is the meaning of this?”


	5. #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to retreat.

Ben’s face was completely unreadable. This was a saving grace. You subconsciously wondered if your Sabacc face was just as good as his.

Since he didn’t say anything, to you or the King, you assumed the act was still going. 

The guards pulled him to the center of the room, then kicked him in the back of the knees so that he would fall forward onto them. 

Gerrun returned back to his throne, contemplating.

“Kenobi…” he started. 

“I imagine this is not how you usually treat your business partners,” Obi-Wan half-jokes. “I’d like to know what’s going on.”

“I’ve come to believe you’re a Jedi.”

“How did you conjure that accusation?” he challenges. 

“That information does not concern you.”

You don’t say a word. Obi-Wan was doing a very good job, and you didn’t want to throw a wrench into his deception. But he became quiet, and this irritated the Kravorpian ruler.

“Nothing to say?!” he boomed. His thick fingers grab hold of the throne where his hands rest. “No matter. A lightsaber is the mark of a Jedi. Search him,” he says to the guards, “and we will find the truth.”

If there was a time to act, it was now. You knew what lied just under his sleeve. Instinctively, your hand shoots to your side, ready to take out your blaster. 

The two don’t have any chance to do a search, as Obi-Wan’s contraption places his weapon into his tied hands. He ignites it, the bindings disintegrating immediately. Just as swiftly, he slices the guards that surrounded him. 

Your gun is held now by both your hands, and you stand next to him and give him a glance. There’s a pause in the room, and it’s almost comical. The thrum of the blue lightsaber is the only thing that can be heard. 

“Cover’s blown, huh?” you mutter loudly.

“Um, yes.”

Absolutely furious, King Gerrun shouts at his guards in the back of the room who are frozen in astonishment.

“Attack them!”

You both turn to the guards that stood at the back of the room. There were at least ten of them, and most of them carried long spears. But more importantly you noticed that the two at the side carried blasters. Still, with your blaster-wielding mastery and Obi-Wan’s lightsaber, you were confident this fight would be quick. You could worry about the escape after. 

They charged, and you shot two down in succession. Obi-Wan slices the big blaster the Kravorpian on the side was toting in half. He looks dumbfounded, but then tackles your partner to the ground. You kick the creature in the ribs to get him off as you shoot another in front of you in the kneecap. 

You begin to approach the door, and Obi-Wan follows suit, cutting one of their spears into pieces. More guards come from the cave halls, but you continue running, and come into a large room with long dining tables that take up the extent of the room. 

The guards follow you, but you don’t see Kenobi. His lightsaber can be heard into the hallway. You leap over one of the tables, pointing your gun at any of the guards that try to advance. None of them have blasters like you.

You take a shot at one of the Kravorpian’s hands, and he drops his spear. This causes the rest of them to charge at you, but you jump over the next table to take cover. You poke your head up a few times to shoot, but one comes up from behind you and twists your arm to your back. You yelp in pain as he effectively drives your shoulder into the ground. You shift onto your back, falling on your twisted arm but clawing his face with your free hand. He pulls away, and you shoot him in the shoulder. You crouch but quickly make your way into a different room. 

For a moment you’re alone, but even more guards appear. You decide to outrun them, as they only have spears. You find the exit to the cave and you’re back into the greenery. It’s there you spot Obi-Wan, bracing his hands against the long pole of the spear as a Kravorpian pushes it towards him. His lightsaber isn’t with him, and that worries you.

You aim to shoot at the one he is having trouble with, but more come to you first. One comes at you, the tip of the spear drawing your blood when he slashes at your side. Yelling in pain and anger, you take your fist and punch him in the abdomen. He staggers, and your blaster finishes him. 

You evade more of their weapons and shoot them so they stand down, but as you’ve finished, you can see Obi-Wan being lifted in the air by his throat with a pair of hands. The second pair of hands holds a spear, and it’s being driven into Kenobi’s chest, just mere moments before you shoot the Kravorpian in the head. They both fall, and you shout your friend’s name.

“Obi-Wan!”

You race towards him, your whole body trembling. Blood is quickly pooling onto the fabric of his clothes, and his eyes are fluttering. You go onto your knees next to him, unsure of what to do. You’re so focused on him, you don’t notice another enemy sneaking up on you. Obi-Wan does, though, for he weakly lifts up his hand, then begins turning it. You follow his line of sight, and behind you, it’s as if an invisible entity is twisting the hand of a Kravorpian who holds a spear. He drops it, then he is pushed away. You shoot him and he stills. You look back to Obi-Wan, but he falls limp, eyes closing.

You shake him as gently as possible, making sure he’s still breathing. It’s shallow, but there nonetheless. You go to hoist him up, but then see even more approaching. You look around, and in the grass and mud you can see a silver shine. You run towards it, and pick up Obi-Wan’s lightsaber.

The weight in your hands is more than you expected, and it feels even heavier once you ignite it. You’re not sure why. You have no time to theorize though, and you swing with a tight grip at whoever dares come near. 

Once you get rid of the ones directly in front of you, you take your blaster back out and shoot the ones from far away. Seeing no more, you run back to Obi-Wan. The wound doesn’t seem too deep now that you have a better look, but the blood is alarming. With his lightsaber, you cut off most of the staff, leaving just the spear inside of his chest. You were afraid he’d lose too much blood otherwise.

With all your might, you hoist him up. You throw his arm over your shoulder. He’s heavy, but you think you can manage the short trip to your ship. Your eyes dart every which way. When wind passes through even the shortest of grasses, your hands are already tight on your blaster.

You make it to the ship with no incident. You set Obi-Wan onto a cot, then quickly close the ship’s door. The coordinates back to Coruscant are already punched into the programming, and you take off as quickly as possible. Once the ship is steady enough to fly on autopilot, you quickly rush to the holo-table at the median of the ship. You look back at a wounded Obi-Wan, who you’re able to see from here.

You rub your temple. 

The Jedi were going to have a word with you.


	6. #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin's having trouble with his feelings. (As always.)

Your eyes bore into a reflection. Wide eyes, a tightened jaw, and a seemingly-permanent frown. You hate looking at yourself this way. Guilt twisted inside you.

When you returned back to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant that day, things happened so fast. You watched as Obi-Wan was taken away into the medical bay, and then not a second later you were interrogated by a furious Anakin Skywalker. But his face immediately fell as you collapsed onto him. He held you, confused when his gloved hands became covered in your blood. In your panic over the hologram on the ship, you failed to mention you were hurt yourself.

You wound up in the medical bay as well, carried over there by Ani. You were asleep while the doctors worked on you, then were told you needed a few days rest. Throughout these few days, Anakin came and left many times. You explained most of what had happened to him. He divided his time between checking on you, checking on Obi-Wan, and meeting with the Council to discuss the failed mission. Seeing him made the pain bearable, even if just a little.

But you had gotten better steadily, and Anakin hadn’t come to see you recently. You knew that he was busy, but it was also very possible he was upset with you and decided not to visit. You hoped that wasn’t the case. 

Because of this you were being driven mad by playing the waiting game. Waiting for news from the doctors, waiting to see if Anakin would show, waiting if the Council was going to banish you for getting one of their Jedi half-dead. It was all you could do, and that was infuriating. You had taken a break from your own stuffy medical room and retreated to the bathroom to try and calm down, but it was no use. You tear your eyes away from the mirror, and head back. 

You mean to walk into your own room, but you pass by another and can’t help but to go in.

It was the recovery room of none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi. A Jedi Master, but more importantly your new-found friend.

It’s late, and the nurse droid tells you that you should be resting, but you simply dismiss it out of the room. The lights are out, and the moon is covered by clouds. If you didn’t know any better, you could just pretend Obi Wan was sleeping. Blue eyes covered by his eyelids, mouth slightly parted with long breaths, even tiny stubble growing in places on his face that he usually grooms. It reminds you how many days have already passed. 

You still can’t believe this all happened. Here he was, connected to advanced machines you had never even seen before. You can see the stitching on his sternum clear as day. The skin around it is raised and an angry red. A droid told you how the doctors replaced the cracked xiphoid in his sternum with metal so that he could breathe normally again with the right amount of recovery. 

You can’t help but blame yourself for all of this. Frustration bubbles in the pit of your chest. 

You get down on your knees, putting your forehead against the edge of his hospital bed. You hold on tight to your knees, willing not to cry. A few tears fall, but you immediately stop them when you feel someone behind you. You whip around, about to tell the annoying droid to buzz off. But when it is Anakin who is in front of you, all the emotional flames leave your body. 

You stand. “Oh, Ani, you’re back. Is everything okay?” 

“How’s Obi-Wan?” he asks, walking towards the bed and placing a hand on his shoulder. You’re highly aware of how he ignores your question. You frown.

You couldn’t blame him for being upset with you. You were still upset with yourself, after all. Obi-Wan’s here, showing no sign of when he’ll wake up. And it feels as if it's entirely your fault. Yet you wish Anakin would talk to you. Then all of this would be easier. 

“Please say something.”

“Like what?” he snaps, whipping his head towards your direction. His eyes are full of hurt, but they’re not like yours. Where yours have sadness, his have anger. It scares you. He notices that, and changes his facial expression to something softer, but not by much. “My master is hurt. You were supposed to protect each other.”

“I didn’t mean for this, Anakin. I’ve said it a thousand times, I am sorry.”

He sighs, frowning at the floor. You extend a hand of comfort towards him.

“My mother died,” he says suddenly, stopping you from touching him. “Not long after I came back to the Order, she died. You remember her, don’t you?”

“She was a slave,” you say.

“She was more than that!” he yells, and you wince. 

“I know, Anakin. I know.”

“She died in my arms. I could do nothing to save her.” He looks at you now. “But that won’t happen again,” he says forcefully. “I’ll learn to stop people I care about from dying. If Obi-Wan’s the first, so be it. I’m powerful enough, I know it.”

“Anakin…” You don’t know what to say.

He opens his mouth, says, “My emotions can’t be helped right now.” You take a step closer to him, grabbing a hold of his robotic arm. 

“There’s hope for him though, right?” You ask cautiously. 

“Yes,” he exhales, trying to get rid of his anger. “The Force that surrounds him will help him recover. He won’t succumb to it.”

You want to roll your eyes. All Jedi… they always talk about the Force and just expect everyone else to understand completely. Of course, ever since that night a few years ago where he tried to explain, you knew it was real. And if there were any disbeliefs in your mind before this whole mission, Obi Wan had proved those wrong. Still, it didn’t make the situation any more bearable. 

You sigh heavily, looking over at him. “Are you staying for awhile?”

“To watch over Obi-Wan, yes.” He goes to sit down cross-legged at Obi Wan’s bedside. You sit as well, knees pulled up to your chest like a child. He closes his eyes, then begins to meditate. You know it’s best not to interrupt, but you need to. 

“Well… in the meantime, could you… do you mind teaching me more about the Force? Like you used to when we were younger?”

He doesn’t even look at you.

“No, you look a mess, and you haven’t slept.”

“But-”

“Get some sleep and a meal… then I’ll reconsider.”

You want to argue but it’s no use. You know Anakin, he’s set in his ways. Arguing would just cause him to be upset with you further, and that’s the last thing you want. So instead you lay on your side, next to him on the floor. The stitches hurt. He gives you a quick glance then, like he can tell.

“When I said sleep, I didn’t mean on the floor. You’ll get no rest that way.”

“I want to be here when Obi-Wan wakes,” you murmur into your sleeve. You adjust your head to look up into his eyes. “I know I’m the cause of this. I’ll do whatever it takes to help. I mean it, Ani.”

He looks away, going back to meditating. You wish he would say something. Forgive, or even just yell at you to get over with it. Anything but this standoff silence. It hurt too deeply. 

The floor was anything but comfortable, but your mind found sleep. When you woke it was still dark, so you closed your eyes again. You were surprised when you heard a mumbling voice. You kept your eyes closed to focus on the words being spoken.

“Conflict stirs deep within me because of this girl, Master. I’m unsure of how to feel, and you’re not here to help.”

Anakin was still meditating? Surely it had been hours. You almost want to snap him out of it, but suddenly you feel your body being lifted. You stay still, trying not to panic. You're lifted, then repositioned so the back of your head is situated in Anakin’s lap. He’s warm and his robes are soft. Wool and embers. Your rational brain tells you that you’re dreaming, and every part of you wants it to continue, so you fall back asleep with no trouble. You think you hear a “Good night, (Y/N),” but you’re not sure and too tired to respond.

Your dream continues for the rest of the night, with Anakin caressing your face and gently raking his fingers over your tangled hair. When you wake up in the morning against him, one of his hands is still in your hair… you’re happily surprised.


	7. #7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You meet with the Jedi Council.

All morning, you couldn’t get that moment from last night to stop playing in your head. In fact, you were thinking about it now as you lay on a medical cot, a doctor prodding at the stitches in your side he had woven in a few days prior. It was still delicate and painful, but your racing thoughts helped distract you.

You had so many questions. Was Anakin talking about you last night? Did he know you were awake? How much of what you saw and heard - and _felt_ \- was real? Any of it? 

Some of that you could answer. Still, you had a hard time believing it. When the sun rose about an hour ago, you and Anakin both looked at each other, expressionless. You sat up, but winced and grabbed at your healing wound. He gets up then, offering you a hand to join him. You took it, trying not to concentrate at how comforting his hand feels in yours. Jedi couldn’t read thoughts, could they? You hoped not. 

He said something about fetching the nurse droid for Obi-Wan, then leaves, but not before glancing back at you. He looked like he wanted to speak, but didn't. 

When he returned, the droid ordered another diagnostic for the Jedi Master, but then ushered you into your own medical quarters to get checked yourself. 

“Your stitches will be ready to be taken out by tomorrow,” she informs you. The thought makes you nauseous, but you just nod. You wouldn’t be able to look at your injury and not feel that way for a long time, you think.

There’s a knock from outside, and then the door slides open. You smile when you see it’s Anakin. He has a short tower of clothes in his hands, and he sets it next to you. He stands in front of you. He doesn’t match your smile. In fact, he doesn’t look very happy at all.

He waits for the doctor to excuse herself, then sighs.

“The Council wants to meet with you,” he says sternly.

You frown, rubbing at your temple. “Why? So they can tear me into tiny little pieces and eat me?”

He doesn’t appreciate your joke, but in your defense, you weren’t really joking. You had no idea what went on in the room where everything and anything Jedi-related happened. In your perspective they were just some magical cult. They were capable of practically anything. 

“They’ve decided that since now you are mostly recovered, they want a full report of what happened, since Obi-Wan can’t provide that at the moment.”

“Do they think I’m guilty?” you question quietly. “That it’s all my fault?”

“They haven’t come to any conclusions, (Y/N). They just want to hear it from you, okay? So get dressed.” He swiftly goes to leave.

“Oh, like, now?”

“Yes, now.” He says this without looking back. 

You examine the clothes to your side once the door shuts. Shrugging, you dress yourself and comb your fingers through your hair. You hope the Council doesn’t judge too much on appearances; you still feel like shit, and you’re sure you look like it too. You saw your face last night in that mirror.

The dark blue longsleeve is oversized, but the dark green cargo jacket over it helps. The brown cargo pants hug your legs, and you slide on your own boots. Maybe none of it was your style, but it was definitely an upgrade compared to the medical clothes you’d been wearing.

You meet Anakin outside the door. He looks at you completely. 

“I tried to get you accurate sizes,” he says almost shyly. 

You smile at that. “Thanks.” You roll up the sleeves of your new jacket. You can’t help but ask, “And my blaster?”

Anakin glances at you, eyebrows furrowed. “You won’t need it.”

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

You’re standing at the center of a circle. Chairs surround you, most of them filled with a person or creature, holographic or not. This is the Jedi Council. 

You don’t recognize any of them, except for Master Windu, who looks perturbed by your presence. Actually, a lot of them do. You stand up a little straighter.

Anakin stands behind you, introducing you to all of these diverse Jedi. 

“Anxious, you are?” a green creature asks. He’s right. Your heart is hammering in your chest. You’re sure everyone in the room can feel it. You hate this. Your emotions were too exposed, and you couldn’t entirely contain them.

“I am nervous,” you answer honestly. “Back home, there’s nothing like this. We have no one to answer to but ourselves.”

Windu is quick to come to the point. “Is that why you were so willing to put Jedi Master Kenobi at risk?” 

Before you can speak, a Togruta woman defends you. “This requires impartiality. Let her speak, in her own words, the events that took place.”

You clear your throat, giving her a nod of appreciation. 

“Well, it all happened very quickly. Obi-Wan had briefed me on my role in the mission, and I gathered that I just had to follow his lead. When we arrived on Kravorp, we were separated very quickly. I was instructed to meet the king, and when I did he immediately asked me questions about Ben. I lied or deflected, and they didn’t know I sided with Obi-Wan until he was escorted into the room by some Kravorpian guards and we began fighting. We took down many of them while escaping, but one cut me in the side.” You gesture to the wound, even though they can’t see it through your clothes. 

“Many reinforcements came, and I was so overwhelmed by them that I failed to get to Obi-Wan in time before he was impaled. With my blaster and his lightsaber I finished off the rest and got him back onto the ship. Then I contacted you guys. Now, we’re here,” you end unceremoniously.

“They tried to separate you immediately. Why did you not resist?” a man with an abnormally tall forehead questioned you.

“It was my suspicion that they had already known he was a Jedi at that point in time, but I wasn’t sure. I did not want questions to raise if I refused to separate from him. And while I was speaking to the king he was only tied up. He was not injured until the height of our escape.”

You feel all of their eyes scrutinizing you.

“Tell the king, what did you exactly?”

“He had asked how I met Ben. I said that years ago I had found him inside the Jedi Temple where they had arrested him for trespassing.”

“Did you think it wise to mention the Jedi? It’s possible that King Gerrun had concluded his suspicions were correct in you saying that.” A voice counters.

You teeter on your heels. Before you speak you try to exude your words without frustration. Some of it still leaks out.

“If I had been told the entirety of the mission when assigned to it and not _mere moments_ before executing it, it might have gone differently.” 

“This mission was designated as low-risk,” another voice says. “And now Obi-Wan is incapacitated.”

“Even so, you let us go alone?” you ask, your voice raising.

“Master Obi-Wan has become a larger target to villians on the rise,” one of the holographic Jedi states. “It’s possible the king had connections as to who _Ben_ really was.”

“Notice any strange figures or symbols on the planet, hm?” 

You think back, dissecting what you saw and heard.

“Gerrun was communicating with a hooded figure over a hologram. I didn’t get much of a look; he ended the conversation as I came in.”

“How bizarre.”

“Could King Gerrun be affiliated with the Sith?”

“Does this put Miss (Y/N) at risk?”

All of these questions were floating around the room, each one delving deeper with suspicion and uncertainty. You were sure it would spiral out of control, but the green humanoid alien cleared his throat and suddenly the Council was silent.

“Discuss this at a later time, ourselves we will.” He points to you with a stubby finger. “Scared, the poor girl is. More rest, she needs.”

He looks at you directly. “Well you have done. Dismissed, you are.”

You bow your head, and hurry to leave, but a young teen with short orange hair and a thin long braid behind his ear enters from the door you were facing to exit.

Nervousness is evident in his voice as he says, “I am deeply sorry for the intrusion, but… Master Kenobi has awoken.”


	8. #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin confesses many things to you.

Anakin and the creature named Yoda were the first to see Obi-Wan. You were fine with not seeing him just yet. As long as he was making steps to recovery, that was good enough for you. Plus, seeing him would answer a question you had rolling around in your head: would he blame you too? 

You head back to your temporary quarters and let out a sigh of relief. Finally alone, you feel like you can unblock your emotions and think freely. Unsurprisingly, the Jedi were difficult to be around. 

You go to the bed to lay down, but notice your blaster and your belt on the nightstand next to it. You lay your hand on them, feeling a little more secure. You tumble into the bed, laying on your good side. The silk feels so welcoming, you fall asleep.

But suddenly, Anakin is there to wake you up, seated on the side of the bed that you’re facing. You could promise it’s only been minutes since you’ve succumbed to sleep, but the setting sun of Coruscant tells you otherwise. 

Sitting up, you question, “Is Obi-Wan...?”

A small smile comes to his face. “He’s going to be alright.” 

You then ask your next question, which burns into your curious heart. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“Not too long,” he shrugs. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

You crack a teasing grin. “You just wanted to watch me sleep?”

He doesn't share your joking attitude. Instead, very gravely, he tells you, “I… I came to say I’m sorry.”

You sit up further, crossing your legs under you. A frown is marred into your facial features. You shake your head, eyebrows raising in confusion.

“I’m sorry,” he continues. “I should have said all this as soon as you came back, but...” He trails off, looking away from you.

You knew this was serious now. He wasn’t acting himself. Usually so forward, Anakin was having trouble getting the words out of his mouth.

He sighs, looking disappointed with himself. “I never should have sent you on that mission. You got hurt, and it could have been worse.” 

You cross your arms. “Hey, I agreed to that mission. Once I did, nothing that happened there was your fault. I wanted to help.”

“I know, (Y/N). The Council needed someone smart, strong, and capable. You’re the first person I thought of. But... I used this mission as a way to see you. I was thinking selfishly, with haste, disregarding the fact that it might not be safe for you to go.”

“Ani,” you say gently, almost wanting to laugh. “The only reason I accepted the job is because I knew I would get to see you again.” It was true. Adrenaline coursed through you as you said it, but hearing him say that he wanted to see you just as much as you did made your heart skip.

“I leave on a mission with my battalion tomorrow,” he states suddenly. “At 1700, I have to go.”

You stiffen. There’s a silence, and it sinks into you, swirling inside your chest uncomfortably.

Deep down, you knew this was coming. It would be ignorant of you to think you could stay here forever. He was leaving, and you had to go home. That was final. Still, it tore at your heartstrings all the same.

“Can I be honest?” you whisper quietly. He waits for you to speak. “The moment you left those years ago, I’d given up the hope of ever seeing you ever again.” Carefully, as if you thought it might hurt him, you take his flesh hand and intertwine your fingers. 

His mouth pressed into a thin line. “We promised we would see each other again,” he says fiercely, gripping your hand. “I never forgot that promise.”

“And I’m beyond happy that I could see you again. But... you’re slipping through my fingers just like you did two years ago.” You look up at him, pulling your hand away. “Anakin,” you shake your head. “You know as well as I do that there’s something between us, a-and I’m finished pretending that there isn’t. I think-”

With his gloved hand, he grabs onto your shoulder tightly. With his other, he touches your face with a gentleness you forgot he had. Flesh fingers graze over your cheek, then cup your jaw. This effectively quiets you.

Before you have time to react, he kisses you with vigor. He curls his fingers behind your ear into your hair, pulling you forward. But you don’t move. Is this really happening? 

Worried, he draws back. Slowly he takes away his hand from your face, but you swiftly grab his wrist, setting it back in place. His lips are inches from yours. Your eyes focus on every aspect of his face. His damned face… the one that you’ve dreamed of since the first time you met him.

Carefully, he places another kiss on your lips. It’s small and quick. 

“That’s the only answer I can give you,” he murmurs. His blue eyes plead for you to understand. “Please let that be enough. For now, at least.”

You want to search his face, look for some sort of sign that he’s deceiving you. But in the time you knew him, Anakin had proved to be honest and true. He held your trust. So you close your eyes instead, giving him a nod. 

“Okay,” you whisper, then wrap your arms around him. You kiss him, and the tension in his body you could feel under your hands melts away. He pulls you closer. You will yourself to never forget what this moment feels like, what _he_ feels like.

A shuddering breath wracks Anakin’s frame as he ends your kiss. You open your eyes to look at him. Plucking away a few loose strands of hair from his face, you see that he’s upset. 

“What is it?” you ask, removing your hands from him. Had you done something wrong?

“I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, (Y/N).”

You shake your head. “Why do you say that?”

“There was a girl,” he starts. You hold your breath. “She was from my childhood. I didn’t see her for a long time, but when I came back to the Order, I met her again. After a while, I thought I loved her. But then wondered why I couldn’t stop picturing you in her place during the moments I was the happiest. Maybe if I hadn’t agreed to see you again someday, I would have married her. But I couldn’t, knowing you were out there in the galaxy, somewhere. I hoped you would still be with me.”

You place your fingers on the side of his face and turn them towards you so he can look in your eyes.

“It’s alright, Ani.” You smile, but then he snaps.

“Listen! People have died because of me,” he whispers harshly. His jaw is tense under your palm.

You assume he’s talking about the legion he commands, and the war he’s been a part of. “These things happen. You can’t protect everyone, even with your best efforts.”

“You don’t get it.” He grits his teeth. The look in his eyes cuts into you. “I’ve killed countless people. Men, women, children - they died all the same! It’s because of me!” He breathes deeply. Admitting this to you seems to relieve the weight from his chest, but he searches your eyes for judgement he feels is imminent. 

You drop your hands from him, but you keep your composure. Still, you’re not sure what to say. It’s hard to swallow. How could he have done that?

He turns his gaze to his clenched fists. “That is what I meant, when I said I’m undeserving.”

You let your heart speak for you. 

“Anakin.” You wait until he looks up at you. “I think you are worthy of redemption. Whether or not you decide that for yourself, I’ll be here.”

It seems that’s all you have to say for him to kiss you again. You smile as you return the gesture gladly.

It was at this point you realized Anakin was not the same person he was when you had first met him. But you still loved him, even if it was against your better judgement. Perhaps you could change him into a better person. You didn’t think it was too late. Was it ignorance that led you to believe that, or hope?

You weren’t sure, but here in Ani’s arms, you didn’t care about anything. Just him.


	9. #9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will you hold on like you want to, or let go like you should?

Sleep came too late, yet when it did, the morning came too early.

Anakin left your quarters late last night, despite your shy protest to make him stay. But you knew better, and so did he. With a promise to see you as soon as he could, he kissed your forehead and bid you a good night. 

He made good on his promise, of course. As soon as you woke, you heard a knock on your door. He enters as you sit up.

You say nothing, completely focused on him as he walks to your bedside. You doubted you could ever get enough of his effortless beauty. 

He seems mesmerized by you, too, immediately locking eyes with you. You stand up and envelop him into a hug. He lets out a sigh that is unmistakably out of relief, and you hold him tighter.

“What is it?” you ask.

He shakes it off. “Nothing.” He pulls away, but keeps his hands on the underside of your arms. “Your presence is comforting, that’s all.”

You smile, your ears hot. 

He drags his flesh hand down your bicep and inner wrist until he meets your palm. Lacing his fingers with yours, Anakin asks, “Are you ready?”

You tilt your head. “For what?”

He doesn’t answer, giving you a small smile instead. You decide not to question him. He guides you to the door, and you take away your hands from each other silently. 

You walk side by side, following his lead. It isn’t until you’re inside the elevator and it takes you downstairs that you realize you’re going to the medical floor. You frown, pressing at your wound with tentative fingers. Anakin puts a friendly hand on your shoulder, but gives you a look that’s more than that, as if he’s saying, ‘I’ll take care of you.’

You’re first off the elevator, and now the Jedi has to keep up with you. 

“Hurry up, then,” you say. “Let’s get this over with.”

Your doctor greets you with little emotion. She stands at the other side of the room, retelling your progress in a drawl. You wait until she’s done reporting, then sit on the stiff bed, facing her instead of Anakin. She seems to be waiting for him to leave, but he doesn’t move. You turn your head to look at him, and he folds his arms.

“I would like to be here for the procedure,” he states simply. The doctor’s face turns curious, staring between you and him. She thinks for a moment. 

“Very well,” she decides. She turns back to you, gently pushing you down onto the cot. Then, she gestures for you to lift up your shirt. You take a split second glance at Anakin, and you can tell he’s trying to remain expressionless. 

You comply with a nod, pulling the fabric up to the top of your ribs. You don’t want to look at him, and you don’t want to look at the stitches that are about to be pulled from your skin, so you squeeze your eyes shut. 

The doctor places her cold hands on your side. You try not to even breathe. There are tugs on your stomach and you hear the snipping of the stitches. But all of your senses dissipate the farther your mind starts to wander.

You wished you didn’t have to go home. Actually, it was home you were fine with. You just wish Anakin could come with you. Or you wish you could stay, and fight alongside him. You could be useful, you knew it. But you weren’t special, like the Jedi. You didn’t have a place here.

You look over to Ani. His world seemed so much more complicated than yours. You could forever wonder why he wanted you of all people to share that world with... Maybe he made room just for you. 

With the face you’re making at him, he must be thinking that the procedure is hurting you. You get rid of your dejected expression before he tries to intervene.

Soon enough, the doctor’s hands are off of you. You look over. The scar is a bit detestable, but you’ve had worse. You sit up, letting your shirt fall back down. Straightening up, you test your patched up skin with a stretch. You barely feel it. 

“So... am I going to live, doctor?” you mutter quietly to her, trying not to laugh at your own stupid joke.

She narrows her eyes slightly at you, but then cracks a small smile.

“Better?” Anakin asks, and you nod truthfully. 

“I feel more like myself.”

“That’s what Obi-Wan had said.”

You wring your hands together at the mention of him. “How is he feeling?”

“Why don’t we go ask him?”

You swing your feet over the cot and onto the floor. You still weren’t sure what Obi-Wan’s reaction to you would be. But after a moment you shrug.

“Now or never, I guess.”

The walk to his medical room was short. When you and Anakin step in, the small green Jedi from yesterday turns from his chair to look at you both.

“Young Skywalker, come to visit, have you? And with Miss (Y/N), as well.”

“Yes, Master Yoda,” Anakin says, tilting his head downwards. After a long moment, you realize you should probably do the same. This makes the creature chuckle. You scratch the back of your neck awkwardly.

Anakin approaches the bedside and you follow, a deep frown growing on your face as you see the bindings on Obi-Wan's torso. You can’t meet the Master’s eyes.

“There’s no need to worry,” he consoles immediately, turning his head to look at you. “It’s not as bad as it may look. I’m fine.”

You may not know Obi-Wan all too well, but he seems like the type to secretly shoulder things on his own. You couldn’t help but think he was trying to save your guilty feelings. But maybe it was working. The Council’s opinion be damned; if Obi-Wan didn’t totally blame you for everything that happened, it would be easier to forgive yourself.

You look in his eyes, half-heartedly arguing with, “We both got hurt, but you’re worse.”

“I appreciate you risking your life to save me,” Obi-Wan counters. He’s so genuine, and it catches you off-guard. You smile, looking away in embarrassment at his praise. 

“We were both equally responsible for the mission’s outcome, which is exactly what I will be formally reporting to the Jedi Council.”

Yoda nods with a grunt, peering at you with wise eyes.

“Great a service you did for the Jedi. To fulfill a role otherwise empty, to save a comrade in battle… nobility, that is.” 

You swallow, feeling as if you have to agree with what they say. When Anakin begins to talk too, you hope your face isn’t as red as it is hot.

“You did your best, (Y/N).” He leans towards you so you look at him instead of the floor. “You’ve recovered, and Obi-Wan’s on his way there. A person’s worst critic is their own self. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Feeling a bit better, you want to quip back at him, and you almost do, but you hold your tongue. You had a hunch you shouldn’t do that with the other Jedi watching. 

So, you agree simply, saying, “Okay.”

Yoda smiles at you. “If it is trouble you stumble upon in the future, a friend in the Jedi you will find.”

He leaves promptly after that. This makes you relax a bit. Whether you liked Jedi or not, they were still intimidating. You wouldn’t admit it, but you supposed you wouldn’t have to for them to know it - they sensed your feelings through the Force. 

Anakin begins to start a conversation, but is interrupted by the comlink strapped to his wrist. 

“It’s Rex,” he explains to you both. He walks away from the bed and into the center of the room. You follow, but not too closely. You feel like Obi-Wan is watching you with a keen eye. “He’s at the hangar. I’ll go see what he wants.”

The young Jedi looks at you, eyes softening. You recognize that stare. It’s the same one from last night, the moment before he kissed you. This time he couldn’t, but the exciting feeling still swelled in your chest as you remembered what his lips felt like against yours. 

Still, you don’t want him to go.

As if he reads your mind - maybe he does, you’re not sure - he promises, “We’ll see each other before we leave.” 

You calm down, remembering what he had said last night. It was only 1300. You still had time.

He says a quick goodbye, then heads out the door, responding to his communicator. You look to Obi-Wan then, who immediately has suspicions.

“There is something afoot between the two of you. I’m sure you understand that the Jedi Council will not tolerate that.”

“Hey, I’m leaving, aren’t I?” You mean for it to come out bitterly, but when the words leave your throat, you know you sound pitiful instead. “I won’t be here to distract him.” You turn, about to walk away, but what he says next stops you in your tracks.

“Don’t wander too far. I’m afraid Anakin will lose his senses otherwise.”

Somehow you know he’s talking more metaphorically than the confines of the Jedi Temple.

“Did he tell you about us?” you whisper quietly, as if you spoke any louder, the whole world would know too. 

He chuckles. “Anakin would never tell me a thing like that.”

You face him again, crossing your arms. “Then what is it?”

He answers as if it was obvious. “His gaze towards you.”

You huff. “What would you know about a _gaze_?”

“Oh, you learn plenty of things from one.” Obi-Wan becomes quiet, thoughtful. “There once was a time I looked at someone with those same eyes Anakin has for you.”

You immediately soften. Questions raised in your mind as you looked at the man. But seeing his forlorn expression keeps them from flying out of your mouth. 

There’s a long moment of silence. The confessions of forbidden love linger in the air. You wonder if this is his way of warning you.

“No one else will know,” you promise finally, then slip out the door.

Eventually you find your way up to the hangar, quietly enjoying the open space and fresh air. A ship is stationed at the other side, the farthest from you. Many were flocking towards it. Was something important happening?

There was an abundance of clones in uniforms but no masks yet. You noticed there was a small detail different about each and every one of them. You had never seen anything like it. It was a bit fascinating.

Your eyes drift to one entering the hangar, running. You follow with your stare, until the clone stops in front of Anakin. You smile when you see him, but stay put, just wanting to watch him for a moment.

He’s talking to the soldier who approached him. You can’t hear what either of them are saying, but your shaggy-haired lover is pointing to the ship he’s under, shouting above the noise it’s making. The clone agrees to whatever he’s commanded with a nod, then runs inside. More clones arrive, and Anakin is directing them onto the ship with a yell and arm motions. One sprints up to him, saying something. He smiles broadly, then pats his shoulder a few times before the soldier runs off just as fast as he came.

You’re lost in his every move, until something runs into your feet, beeping and whirring. Looking down, you see an R2 unit. It’s white, with a blue and silver dome. You reach down to put a hand on it.

“Hi,” you say, unsure. It beeps and wiggles from side to side, which makes you laugh confusedly. 

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t-”

You stop talking when it suddenly drives off, straight towards Anakin. It warbles loudly, and is about halfway between you and him when the brunette hears the beeps. He jogs up to the R2 unit, his robes swaying over his legs, but immediately sees you and gives the droid a pat on the head with a smile. 

“Thanks, Artoo.”

He comes up to you, looking around. After surveying the area, he grabs you, and pulls you into a secluded hallway.

You try to keep quiet as he drags you along, but a laugh escapes you once you’re alone together. Sneaking around like this was proving to be fun.

“What’s the rush, Skywalker?” you say, grabbing onto the front of his robes.

He doesn’t answer with words. He presses his lips to yours passionately, and you return the gesture readily. When he pulls away for breath, you smile, but he frowns. You tilt your head in confusion.

Anakin sighs as if breathing hurts him. “I thought we’d have more time, but I have to leave now.”

Your face falls, along with your heart. It feels as if it sinks to your feet then out your shoes into a puddle under you. Your first thought almost tumbles out of your mouth.

_‘Come with me, instead.’_

But you think back, to just moments ago, watching him in the hangar.

How he commanded his troops with ease. How they respected him, and how he trusted them. How the Jedi guided him. All of this, it suited him. This life that he had where nothing was ever uneventful… Who would you be if you forced him to give it all up?

You repeatedly run your hands over his robes that cover his strong chest. With a painful exhale, you let go.

“I… I understand.” You can’t look away - his blue eyes mesmerize you once again. His gloved hand rests under your chin.

“Anakin… I love you.” There’s not an ounce of regret inside you as you confess. “And you don’t have to respond to that, because I know the Order has rules, and your soldiers need you, and-”

“I love you too. You hold my heart, (Y/N).” He says it with such certainty, it surprises you. You smile, your heart aching. You interlock your fingers with his. He holds them up in the small gap between the two of you.

“Please,” he pleads. “Wait for me. One day when there is peace, where we live in a galaxy that has no war, I will leave the Order and I will be with you. I promise, I’ll return to you.”

“Okay.” You nod, a tear slipping out of your eye. “I’ll wait.”

_‘For you, Anakin, I can wait, even if it put me in pain.’_

You commit his image, right here in front of you, to memory. His long, wavy hair you loved to put your hands through, the scar over his face that one day you’d ask about, the blue bittersweet eyes he was looking at you with… you needed to remember it all. You couldn’t afford to forget it. 

Why did this feel like the last time you would see Anakin Skywalker? Ani, the boy you had loved from the very first day, and never stopped loving since then. Now a man, he was the one who loved you in return. But you had to let go. 

_‘For now,’ you reminded yourself. ‘Let go for now, so that after, you won’t ever have to again.’_

You hoped that was the truth.

_**fin** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! reviews & kudos are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> i've never published any of my Star Wars work, so i hope this will be a success. shoutout to my partner, who helped me every step of the way in creating this, and supports my crazy infatuation with the men (and some women) of this franchise they introduced me to. i love you, jess!


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